Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
