And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
