We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
