I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
