porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize