He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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