In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
