it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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