Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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