I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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