what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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