I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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