just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
