you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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