I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
