How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
