oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
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i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
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When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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