she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
