the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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