At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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