I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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