Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
