He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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