New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
