Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
