There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
