Swine flu. Run for my life!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
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she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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