Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
