You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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