That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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