If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
