super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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