someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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