You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
