I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
