New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
In America we eat man semen.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
