Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
