I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
