She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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