Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
