As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
