My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
