And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
