I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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