Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
