it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm at about main and main street
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize