marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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