Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize