My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Everything about him screamed your future.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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