does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
