i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize