my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I love having hate sex.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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