she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
