we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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