I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
