i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you never un-have a 4some
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
