Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
