their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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