You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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