We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
