ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
