Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
