census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
