we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
