I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
