What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
