My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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