She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
