Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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