it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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