we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
