It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like death gave me a hand job
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i've created a new STD.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
